Judy Kay-Wolff

CHEATING IN ANY VENUE

Whethere it be at bridge, poker, sports (steroids), famous people in the political sphere or any other phase of life, cheating (as in the case of Tiger’s alleged sex addiction ‘putting’ around) always makes the headlines as did his one-sided press conference yesterday.   I believe he tried to make amends, but the interview left me totally ‘bleh” as it did many others.   Everything seemed to be going along on an even keel when suddenly, he injected into his apology that there was no domestic violence in their home/marriage.  Were all these earlier headlines manufactured and figments of the press’ imagination?  Why then the need for extensive dental surgery for the cracked and missing teeth he suffered.   The Tooth Fairy?

I suppose I am very dense.   Can someome out there help me to understand how all the alleged mutilation to his face and mouth occurred?


14 Comments

PimoFebruary 20th, 2010 at 6:16 pm

I think he was referring to the fact (actually unknown to any of us) that he is not physically abusive to his family. The mutilation is assumed to have been caused by her. It was she who became physical, which is something that he does not want emphasized by the public. This is the reason why he stated that there was no domestic violence in their home/marriage.

Anyway, he is a man who clearly wants to always be in charge. Ergo, he would find a tremendous release of control through the exotic peccadilloes that he sought outside the marriage. We all have flaws and most of us really don’t care what his life is about, especially off the golf course. He is just another imperfect person. Even though he makes far too much money for what he contributes to society, he’s the benefactee of two of the most lavish gifts that the people can heap upon the American tycoon, wealth and praise.

JUDY KAY-WOLFFFebruary 20th, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Pimo:

If, in fact, the “mutilation” was caused by Elin, her judgment wasn’t too good. If she wanted to strike back, she should haved aimed for his wrists — or even lower. And, IMHO, the mental abuse and worldwide humiliation he caused her by his admitted philanderings/s/s/s/s/s are as bad, if not worse, as taking a crack at him (if that was the case).

People say Tiger Woods’ life is his own. I beg to differ. His success and fame have attracted millions of youngsters as his fans. That goes with the territory of an icon. Is this the type of moral example he should be setting for his young public? Hardly! I have little sympathy for him. Obviously, he has had an ongoing sex addiction problem and perhaps he should have sought treatment before it reached such heights. The speech was a good starting point — but the denial of any type of physical violence (regardless of who did the abusing) was out of line. Sometimes mental abuse and shame are even more devastating than physical harm. Maybe Lorena Bobbit was ahead of her time and you’ll pardon the pun — not so far “off course.”

Guess I’m just an old fashioned gal, so go sue me!

Judy

Richard PavlicekFebruary 21st, 2010 at 3:00 am

Yeah, Elin should have been a bridge player… then she wouldn’t have

wasted a 9-iron, when a double squeeze and Vienna (as in sausage)

coup would stop his philandering forever. 🙂

As many others, I was saddened by all this, as the man seemed to be

the epitome of what’s good in the world (especially with his foundation).

Even Mabel (a definite non-sports person) would watch TV with me and

point to the screen saying “Tiger” as one of her last verbal capabilities.

JUDY KAY-WOLFFFebruary 21st, 2010 at 6:31 am

Dear Rich:

I am shocked and honored that you have responded to my Tiger blog, being so aware of your never-ending, daily time-consuming dedication as a devoted husband. Despite your heavy heart and sadness with your wonderful Mabel’s failing health — you have not lost your clever sense of humor. You are a very special, extremely talented young man (at least you were young when I met you about thirty years ago) and we all miss you. I hope one day you will return to the fold and razzle-dazzle all the newcomers with your fancy footwork!

Some of the happiest and most exciting days of my bridge life were spent enjoying the many breathtaking victories you shared as the celebrated team of Pavlicek and Root/Kaplan and Kay. Unfortunately you are the only survivor of a foursome that will be long remembered for not only their bridge accomplishments but for their incredibly ethical demeanor both at and away from the table. Of all the marvelous triumphs you four shared, I am sure the most meaningful one was where Oswald Jacoby (who had just been diagnosed with advancing cancer) was added to your Reisinger Team in 1983 in Bal Harbour. When the final results were tallied and you were proclaimed the victors, there was not a dry eye in the room as, by that time, Ozzie’s prognois was no secret. Never saw grown men cry before that night! It was certainly one of the most poignant moments in the annals of bridge!

By the way, part of the above story, to which most of the bridge world were not privy, involved a call that Edgar received from Ozzie’s son John (a non-bridge player) spilling to him Ozzie’s recent diagnosis. John generously offered to ‘hire the team,’ hoping to send his dad off in grand fashion.

Without a second’s hesitation, Edgar matter-of-factly replied, “THIS TEAM IS NOT FOR HIRE, BUT it would be our honor and pleasure to have Ozzie added as our fifth.” The rest was history. The colorful, entertaining Oswald Jacoby died the following year.

Thanks for the memories, Rich, and please stay in touch!

Bobby WolffFebruary 21st, 2010 at 2:02 pm

And although I was just one of the losers in that fateful 1983 Reisinger, it was indeed an electrifying and poignant experience to see the positive reaction of the competitors to the results of that event.

Bridge, as we have gotten to know it, can serve many masters. By its very essence, bridge at the top is a much more personal experience than other highly competitive games. One could use the words, up close and personal, in describing the extremely competitive mind conflicts bridge combatants continually experience. It is these battles which older warriors have filed away indelibly in their memories. However, for those remembrances to remain glorified, Active Ethics must be there every step of the way.

I can assure all who are listening, Richard Pavlicek always represented what was brilliant and at the same time, straight forward, at the very top level. It is only too easy to sometimes forget someone who is unobtrusive, but still a major factor in making bridge an off the charts superior game. Richard would be my leading candidate for that honor. Thank you, Richard, but at this very difficult time for you, maybe a little sunshine, in the way of truth, can help ease your burden. YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN!

Richard PavlicekFebruary 22nd, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, that was a memorable event, and an education for me. It wasn’t clear how we would line up, so the day before I played a practice sesssion with Jake. Quite an experience! He never touched a wrong card, but our bidding was a bit sketchy because I wasn’t used to fielding psychs (he threw me about four). I joked to Bill (Root) that I might show up Saturday (when Jake and I were to play) with a catcher’s mitt and face mask. Fortunately, Jake and Edgar hit if off so well on Friday that we kept that lineup.

PegFebruary 23rd, 2010 at 4:06 am

Richard belongs in a very special “Hall of Fame”. Although his bridge ability makes him more than worthy – I’m thinking of other admirable qualities that make Richard one quite remarkable man.

As for Tiger… I share Richard’s sadness. Someone who had so much – and risked it, for ….what? I do hope, however, that his words the other day were a “12 step” action toward turning his life around. I like to believe in second chances. Here’s hoping Tiger does what is necessary to earn opportunities for that.

Ozzie? Another time, I’ll have to tell the story of how I played bridge with him at a regional when I had 35 masterpoints. “Are you trying to take any tricks?!” was one of the nicer things he had to say to me that day . . . . !

JUDY KAY-WOLFFFebruary 23rd, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Peg:

Your first sentence raised a sad issue with me, speaking of Richard Pavlicek. Despite the fact he retired from the big team to enhance his talented young son Rich Jr.s’ career in the exciting world of top level bridge and then became overwhelmed with Mabel’s illness and temporarily gave up tournament bridge, why on earth was he never proposed for the Hall of Fame for his talent and earlier list of accomplishments. According to Bobby (and of course Rich’s late teammates of many years, Edgar and Norman), he was a top, natural, clever, ethical player and the perfect model of what an expert should be. How did he ever slip through the cracks of the Hall of Fame Selection Committee. Aren’t his (or weren’t his) qualifications just what the Hall of Fame should be seeking out and honoring? Seems strange with the present day scenario.

As far as Ozzie, he (like Stoney) was famous for lines like that — though perhaps kidding on the level. I missed my thrill (or comeuppance as a novice player) in the mid sixties when Ozzie came to Philly. Norman and I had an apartment in the Penn Towers, a lovely high rise next to the Sheraton where all the tournaments were held. I suppose it was a Regional and at a cocktail party we were hosting, Ozzie popped in to say hello and have a drink. He was looking for a date for the Mixed Pairs that Friday Night and Norman was tied up with a ‘stock brokerage client/partner.” Ozzie, a close friend of Norman’s, was always very friendly to me, jumped in with an offer to play with me — to which Norman sweetly objected, saying “I don’t think she is quite ready — and was he ever right.” Sounds from your tale of humorous criticism, Norman saved me a lot of humiliation and embarrassment at that time. However, for days I went around telling everyone that Ozzie (and there was only ONE “Ozzie”) invited me to play but I was ”forced’ to turn him down (and I do mean forced)! I was never given the option of speaking for myself.

cam FrenchFebruary 23rd, 2010 at 7:33 pm

I know one thing, if I ran my vehicle (sadly not a caddy or Mercedes) into a tree at 2:00 in the morning fleeing my wife chasing me down my estate driveway with a 3 wood flailing, I would expect us both to be hauled off to the local police station faster than you can say three-putt.

Just how did the rear window get broken, and how was he allowed to avoid questioning (her too) for several days while the publicist cranked out yarns of fantasy?

Wasn’t one tale how she “rescued” him by smashing the rear window?

Clearly in the gated community the police abdicated to their constituents, proving there is one set of laws not enforced against the wealthy, while the rest of us feel the full wrath of our legal transgressions.

If Judy took out Bobby’s 7 iron, and laid a few whacks requiring dental work, would she walk free? in America some of the laws (like “I don’t want to press charges) puzzle some of us. Here, I hope the cops throw my wife in the slammer if she rearranges this handsome visage with my sand wedge. I can say “I don’t want to press charges” and they will laugh. It is not up to me. Besides, this has kept domestic violence in the closet for so long.

I think what Tiger might have been trying to say was prior to the incident, there had been no domestic violence. And any violence that Elin inflicted was as a result of discovering her betrayal, so it was not her fault. As if.

Right now, I running to hide my golf clubs, maybe Tiger and Bobby should too.

C

Richard PavlicekFebruary 23rd, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Too funny, Cam. Fore!

Judy, so you won’t fault the HOF committee, I was put on the ballot four years ago when I turned 60, but I withdrew my name. For one thing, I couldn’t travel (or so I chose to be with Mabel), and the emotional pressures were enough to bear. As I joked with Rich, I’ll wait for the posthumous ballot. Hopefully, a long wait since Mabel doesn’t own any golf clubs. 🙂

JUDY KAY-WOLFFFebruary 23rd, 2010 at 11:16 pm

First to Cam:

Bobby doesn’t have any golf clubs to hide (just his six TVs to watch his ball games), but you can be sure he would not be able to hold thirteen cards in either hand for a long time or push the remote control to change the channels. Elin’s aim was way off as I suggested earlier.

Rich: O.K. I apologize to the HOF Selection Committee, but I don’t understand what traveling has to do with being nominated and being on the ballot whether or not you could attend the Induction if elected (which your record certainly suggests). I promise you in the likelihood you were elected, many would have been proud to stand in and accept for you. It is ironic you withdrew your name for unselfish reasons and yet others allow a farce to be made of their mediocrity by accepting). Bridge players are a strange bunch — with huge egos!

And Richard — I might add, everyone is so happy to see your recent participation on our site. Throughout your pain and heavy heart, it is so apparent you have maintained your uplifting sense of humor and we all appreciate it!!!!

PegFebruary 25th, 2010 at 4:00 am

Judy – you dodged a bullet! Although it’s always been fun to tell people “I played with Ozzie” – the experience itself was gruesome. In addition to the delightful statement above, I heard, “Do you know what game we’re playing?” and “Even I can’t make the contract opposite a dummy like that,” and one of my favorites: “I know this is going to disappoint you. But, I’m afraid we’re going to qualify for the evening session.”

At one point, Jim J, who was already a buddy of mine, walked by. Jim always called me “Jaws” because of my NORMAL inclination to have a big smile on my face. “Jaws,” Jim bellowed, “you’re not smiling.” “Not smiling?” I thought? Well – I can’t repeat the rest of what I was thinking, Judy!!

Ozzie was brilliant and saw miracles of card play in a flash. He simply was not the guy to partner a neophyte!

JUDY KAY-WOLFFFebruary 25th, 2010 at 6:48 am

Peg:

Just as well. I would have had a nervous breakdown — or worse. If I were you, I might have given up the game as (I know you wouldn’t believe it) I was a shy, demure, shrinking violet. However, the years have hardened me — living through my outrageously handled appeal, all the favoritism shown at the higher levels (sometimes by inexperienced or inept directors who are intimidated by the big guns on whom they must rule) — and probably worst of all — the denigration and defamation of the Hall of Fame — simply by nomination (regardless of the outcome).

The room rates have risen, flying is more expensive, some of the on site restaurant prices are out in the stratosphere, card fees have more than doubled, etc. — but the one phase that has gone down is the dignity and respect for the game! Worse yet — people seem to be content with the status quo and have allowed professionalism to take over — at any cost! As I’ve been saying for a long time, Money is in First and Bridge is in Second!

Cam FrenchFebruary 25th, 2010 at 8:56 pm

Peg,

I think it was the late, great SI reporter Jim Murray who asked someone (maybe Maury Wills) why he looked perpetually unhappy.

The respondent said – I’m happy – it is just that my face doesn’t know it!”

C

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