IS DISCRETION THE BETTER PART OF VALOR?

Honesty has always been heralded as the best policy.   It holds true with family, friends, business associates and the public at large.  However, should it also encompass truthful answers to posed questions concerning bridge?   It depends!!!

When one expert asks another expert for his valued opinion, the supposition is that the one who inquires seeks the benefit of the other’s good judgment — not necessarily to hear concurrence with the bid or play he made in actuality.   It is not to nurture or soothe one’s ego — but to delve into the mind set of a contemporary — possibly to hear a different approach, suggestion, analysis or solution.

However, do the same conditions of contest prevail when two arguing partners (and lesser players, to boot) accost an expert, pedaling a hand on which they vehemently disagree — each wanting the cornered person to agree with his point of view?    That’s an easy one.   It depends upon whom you ask.

If Bobby Wolff was the target, I guarantee you that neither partner would walk away wondering what Bobby thought!   They would know!   Bobby has never been accused of couching his feelings or fudging his thoughts.  He loves the game too much — and if he is sought out, he will never soft soap or sidestep the issue.   It is not about hurting feelings — but rather about honoring the beauty of our sanctified game (according to The Lone Wolff).    

No expert can escape the inevitable “what would you have done with this hand?” question. Bobby’s predecessor in my life, Norman Kay, had a different  perspective.   He was a very sensitive human being — with a penchant for not making waves.  When placed in the same position, Norman handled matters in a more delicate fashion (like King Solomon) trying to resolve issues fairly and peaceably — with a minimum of finger-pointing or embarrassment.  Norman’s M. O. would include a smile and a soft sympathetic voice asking what the person actually did.

Regardless of how grotesque or irrational the action might be, Norman would appease the questioner by sweetly saying, “It is a matter of judgment, ” or “It could be right,” or “You were unlucky,” or the worst of all possible retorts (at least from my personal vantage point) … “It is an awkward hand” (a luxury Norman never granted to me).  He would be non-committal to the sweet Little Old Ladies who would approach him in a state of bewilderment after being chewed out by their equally unskilled partners.    Those bystanders who knew his style were accustomed to his dog and pony act and found it amusing as they watched his anticipated routine.   However, when I was placed in the same battered position as the LOLs, I received no words of solace — simply the harsh truth.  Norman expected better of me! 

It is hard to fathom that this sweet, soft-spoken gentleman (in the eyes of those seeking a shoulder to cry on) was brutally frank with me in an earnest effort to point me in the right direction.  I suppose I should have felt flattered that he saw a glimmer of hope but it was tough to stomach such a flagrant variation in standards.   My boo-boos never fell into the wishy-washy category as my counterparts.   The old sauce for the goose/sauce for the gander adage was not applied as I was not coddled or extended the same latitude as Norman’s adoring public. 

But it’s not over till it’s over!   A few years after we were wed, when Norman was asked to pen some words of wisdom for The Bridge Set, published by The San Fernando Valley Unit,  he deferred to me and I finally had my day in court.   It didn’t take a mental giant to come up with a subject and the perfect title ….. EVERYBODY GETS AWKWARD HANDS (but me) by Mrs. Norman (Judy) Kay.   (I just re-read it and it’s still pretty funny almost forty-two years later).

The article appeared in the publication’s swan song, the January-February, 1967 issue, but in all objectivity, I don’t think my contribution had anything to do with it going belly-up!