Judy Kay-Wolff


Much of the subject matter you find on this site is usually serious and controversial. I have always been a proponent of telling it like it is — with no soft soaping or sugar coating. However, recently Bobby received an email from his good friend, Jeff Polisner, who passed down some rather humorous quotes that I want to share with you. Many of the original creators were unlisted but I used the names of those which were credited with the remarks when available. So, here goes …

“I think we’re all a little masochistic. Otherwise, why would we continue to play bridge?”

“I’d like a review of the bidding with all the original inflections.”

“If you play bridge with your wife as partner, you need at least 20 points to open, and it wouldn’t hurt to have 25.” (Joe James)

“A fellow had made a bad bid and gone down for 1400. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said to his partner. ‘I had a card misplaced.’ ‘Only one card?’ ” (Charles Goren)

“The real test of a bridge player isn’t in keeping out of trouble, but in escaping once he’s in.” (Alfred Sheinwold)

“Bridge is a great comfort in your old age. It also helps you get there faster.” (Rueful Rabbit)

“The trouble with women is that they treat bridge as a game. They do not realize it is a war.”

“Where’s the hand you held during the auction?” (a comment Jan Janitschke has made when dummy hits)

“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”

“One advantage of bad bidding is that you get practice at playing atrocious contracts.” (Alfred Sheinwold)

“I’m not sure whether glory or masterpoints is first on the list, but I know learning to play is definitely last.” (Eddie Kantar)

“I favor light opening bids. When you’re my age, you’re never sure they’re going to get back to you in time.” (Oswald Jacoby at 77)

….. and my own personal favorite I witnessed at a rubber bridge game at the Cavendish Club in Philadelphia back in the sixties:

“When I play with you, you expect me to play like Charles Goren. When I play against you, you want me to play like Melvin Savitz!” (Melvin Savitz)


Ray LeeSeptember 21st, 2009 at 7:35 pm

Here are two more:

1) From the Spanish language section of the recent Daily Bulletins in Sao Paulo: ‘Every time I play with you, you play worse — and today, you’re playing like it’s tomorrow!’

2) This one’s longer, but I was there when it happened. During an auction, LHO made a takeout double, but his partner failed to come in, losing the partscore battle. At the end of the deal, they agreed that since RHO was hard of hearing, LHO would in future speak up more (this was long before bidding boxes, of course). On the next deal he DOUBLED my opening bid for takeout, his partner bid something, and they ended up too high and going for a number. RHO was not impressed with the dummy he bought. ‘Your first double I didn’t hear,’ he commented as they left the table, ‘and your second one, I didn’t see!’

JUDY KAY WOLFFSeptember 21st, 2009 at 7:44 pm


Loved them both! And who says — bridge is a serious game?


Robb GordonSeptember 22nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm

My favorite bridge comment of all time was attributed to Edgar Kaplan: “I don’t think anyone in this tournament can bid diamonds to show diamonds. We lost the club suit in the 1950s. Now diamonds are gone and hearts are sinking fast.”

JUDY KAY-WOLFFSeptember 23rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm


A great one to add to the list. Edgar was so articulate and prolific. He just couldn’t be beat!

Perhaps I am biased — but I sure loved that man.