FALLING FROM GRACE……

I am well aware this is a ‘bridge site” and the only way I can justify reprinting the following is by likening them to some of the dumb remarks made at the bridge table (of which we have all been guilty – including yours truly).   They may not enhance your bridge knowledge, but they will surely give you a laugh!  AND I QUOTE VERBATIM:

WHY CERTAIN ATHLETES DON’T HOLD REGULAR JOBS…

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Hall of Famer Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.  I wan’ all the kids to copulate Me." 

2. Former New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." 

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say: "I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too." 

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men.  He lets us wear earrings.." 

5. Football commentator and former QB Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius.  A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." 

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is beautiful) 

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height."  And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.." 

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ." 

9. Stu Grimson, a former Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." 

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is." 

11.  Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to late coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January.)

12. Frank Layden, one-time Utah Jazz president and funnyman, on a former player: "I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D: "Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of North Carolina State basketball great Charles Shackelford, "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."

15.  Amarillo  High School and former Houston Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."